Off the beaten path

So my friend Crystal, who has the most beautiful girls on the planet, is moving away from me. Its really starting to sink in. Its funny because when we first started hanging out and I was planning on moving away she flipped a lid, not 6 months later shes leaving me. She was supposed to leave yesterday but due to some unforeseeable hangups she had a week or so more here. One of the first things Crystal and I started doing when we met was going on "adventures" some were small others out of town, but all of them were things that were a little "off the beaten path" so to speak. It seems like when I moved to Orlando it was full of all these amazing things to do, way more than Gainesville. However people quickly get in a rut around here of nothing more than Disney, dinners, shopping and maybe an occasional movie. So I made it my personal mission to find other things to do.

Saturday night we went on what could prove to be our last adventure for a while. We took the girls to see the Classic Car parade at Old town. It was a ton of fun, and really cheap (free for me if you don;t count the drinks because it was 1000 degrees). It was really good to see the girls have a good time on the rides (even those were relatively inexpensive) and it was A LOT of fun to take pictures of. Here are a couple of my faves.

Spinning tea cups that also go up and down.

This is the last picture of Crystal smiling, after this she started looking a bit sick.

Carousel



Hailie on the Carousel

She rode in a spinning booth because she couldn't really spin on the tea cups with her mom and sister.

Motorcycles

A couple of times around the circle this ride rose up as if the bike was doing a wheelie, it was so cute because Chelsie thought she was controlling it and making the bike stand up.

Mechanical Bull

Hailie rode the bull the full time limit and held her hand in the air most of the ride. The guy controlling it called out on the PA that she was the "bravest cowgirl to ride all day" can't believe she is only 6.

Frog Hopper

This is likely my favorite picture of the night. The girls were just SO happy.

So even though this might be out last "adventure" for a while I'm sure Ill see the ladies a couple more times before I leave. I pray they find a good place to stay and go to church up in North Florida. OBC isn't going to be the same without them.

Thoughts on Prayer

The idea of prayer, how to pray and the importance of prayer have come up multiple times today for me, which leads me to believe God is trying to show me something about it.

The first instance is really quite personal. I have found the lately my prayers have become what I deem as vague, for instance praying for Missionaries, rather than each one by name and need etc. I have struggled a LOT lately with feeling that my prayers are just unworthy of God. I don;t know if that means my prayers are becoming less or my admiration of God becoming more but either way it is really starting to bother me. just 6 months ago I felt myself relying so much more on prayer, spending hours a day praying, and laterally turning to God for every matter of my day. These days I tend to group prayers together, and find myself struggling with the idea of "I don't have hours to pray for everything so Ill rush through." This really breaks my heart, because times of prayer for me aren't really asking for things so much as talking to God, so in essence I'm spending less time with someone I love. In reality only cheating myself. It is not as if I think there is not enough time in my day, or not making prayer a priority but rather I feel like I could pray for 24 hours straight and never say all I want to say.

Another instance is the idea that a friend brought forth. She said she used to keep a journal of her prayers, actually someone who went to Kenya with me in Jan said she did the same thing. The idea that if you get it all down you'll cover everything. Without going into much detail because it is really their own business this idea sort of appeals to me. Has anyone else ever kept a prayer journal?

Lastly I have a friend who is struggling greatly right now with the idea of prayer. She recently lost her baby and is going through things I can't even imagine. On top of it all she is dealing with thoughts on whether prayer really works, and how it works. If the idea is God has a master plan, and he knows your story before it is written then what is the purpose of prayer? I tried to give her my 2 cents, but lest be honest eloquent and well spoken when it comes to matters of God aren't my strong suit, I kind of just call it like I see it.

I definitely know I am far from figuring all these ideas of prayer out (I mean I guess Ill be figuring it out as long as I am here), However essentially prayer is one of those things that there are as many "ways to pray" as there are people in the world.

If it is something you feel comfortable sharing, how do you pray, have you ever kept a journal? Have you ever had a time when you just felt like you were getting no where, or not being heard? Can I pray for you?

Lastly a picture. These are some of the kids I met in Kenya. They live in Kawangware, the second largest slum in Africa. They can ALWAYS use your prayers. ALWAYS

Windy day in the park.

I am having to post this rather quickly as I am heading out the door. I wanted to get a couple more pictures up since I just finished editing them. I know I am behind on both Crazy Love as well as Bible in 90 days updates, but I plan on having them up this weekend. Until then here are a couple very random pictures. I stopped in on a friend the other day and she and her girls were headed up to the park. It was REALLY windy and thus the hair all over the place but they are so gorgeous it barely matters.

Neat little boxes with tight fitting lids.

So I haven't posted in a couple of days because I have been struggling with some things and my way of dealing with them is to internalize them , and put all the struggles away in neat little boxes with tight fitting lids and forget about them. However this hasn't worked well in the past so maybe vaguely divulging them here will help in some ways. Thus we have a giant list of doom aka things i am currently struggling with.

Sickness-Ive been sick this week which is only compounded by the fact that most people don;t even know this so I find myself hiding my symptoms rather than explain it to anyone. Very few people in my currently life even know how sick I once was or even what I have. Obviously nothing serious just easier not to explain. I guess.

Expectations-by in large my biggest current, and long term, struggle. Basically I know expect too much pf people because I project myself onto them, and I know just how much I would do for them, or how much they could expect from me. Ultimately these expectations are rarely met, and the only one who ends up suffering is me. Then I get upset with myself, never the other person, for allowing myself to get let down yet again. This mostly revolves around people not keeping their word, or responsibility, or commitments. To me my word is bond, and if I say I'll help with something or be someplace, it would take a small plague to keep me away. However I cannot expect that out of most people, which saddens me.

Pictures- This one is far more superficial but lets be honest I am 90% euphoric with my life and 2 little struggles arn't gonna keep me down so I have to throw this one in there. Basically I had gotten to where I generally liked about 10% of my photos, however with the addition of 2 new lenses one of which is honestly FAR beyond my skill level, I have been taking pictures all week and don;t really like any of them before editing and only a handful after. Please don;t patronize me and tell me they're good, its not about that. I'm learning and I welcome the challenge. Here are some I took the other day, obviously playing with some closer shots, now that i have a better zoom lens.

This being said, I am still really really happy with things. Those few minor struggles are just that. They arn't tearing me apart or anything (well the expectations one is starting to get old). I recognize there are so many people, even in my life, and on my friends list, that are going through things right now, that I pray for daily. Just kinda trying out this catharsis thing and seeing if it helps. Now I'm off to work on a special project for a friend who is leaving on a missions trip to Nicaragua very very soon.

Through the eye of a fish.

What a busy busy weekend. Saturday I set out for some fathers day shopping with a friend, which ended in a long run around all of Orlando and a trip to the most tourist infested mall. However goals were accomplished and I had a lot of fun. I had recently acquired a couple new affect lenses for my camera, so as the day dwindled and typical Florida thunderstorms set in, I set out with my friend Crystal to play with the wide angles fish eye a bit. I am still VERY much amateur not only in pictures but especially in this lens so it was more for fun, and to get a pic of practice. Here are a couple I came out with.

The view from my car while driving to Crys'.

By far my fave of the day.

For some reason there is a random miniature statue of Liberty in Edgewater.

Cool pic though.

All afternoon we out ran the storm. If you look to the left you can see the torrential downpour in this one across Lake Ivanhoe.

This is about how people picture Florida.

If they only knew its not all palm trees and Sunshine.

Sunday was just as busy. Church in the morning, one of the best Sermon's Ive heard in a while. It was about the importance of a man in family, church, and education. It even included some Biblical examples of Bad fathers we can learn from. Followed by lunch with the parents. Then the daily deluge of rain struck again, quite literally. As I was at my apartment waiting out the storm, the building behind mine got struck by lightning. No terrible damage but definitely scary.

Nothing a little afternoon retail therapy couldn't handle though, If window shopping counts. :) At least I got to spend time with my friend Megan shes pretty awesome, and we made some amazing plans for the months to come.

Finally the day ended in the most perfect fashion. LIFEGROUP. I seriously adore these ladies, and any time of fellowship with them is so special. We got a bit to eat and one of the girls lead us in prayer, it was probably the point of my day that stuck out the most. The way this girl prays speaks so loudly to my heart, it always stays with me days after. She is so raw and honest in her conversation with her heavenly father, and it was so perfect for father's day, as he is the Greatest father to be honored. She probably don;t even know how much I listen to her pray, but I guess if she reads this she might now, ah well.

Hope your Father's Days were blessed, whether you spent time with your father, or just took a moment to thank your Eternal Father.

Crafter's Delight

I'm pretty sure I have officially lost my mind, gone off the deep end, gone bonkers... whatever I like Synonyms. So I am up at 3:30 am because I decided I needed to make something. I've been feeling extra anxious for the last 2 weeks. I'm not sure whats setting it off, though I am SURE stress is a contributing factor. So I tried to go to bed at a decent hour, since I have church early in the AM. However my mind just would not settle, after an hour I got up and decided crafts was the best way to calm my mind. Distraction normally works pretty well, until I looked up and realized it had been 2 hours and I had made 2 Ipod (or phone) felt cases. The one I made first was because I wanted an owl one I was online. Its pretty ugly but I love owls so whatever. Here is the front.

And here is the back. I know you can't tell but I added a button and tried to stitch my name in cursive. FAIL but whatever, I love ugly things.

Then I decided it would be better if I made more of a "sock" so I HAD to make another one. I couldn't think of anything, except today I went shopping with my neighbor and she had a Hello Kitty shirt on. She REALLY loves Hello Kitty and just got an IPhone last week for her Birthday. So I made this one.

Its plain on the back except solid black.

So yeah I feel sorta dumb for wasting the time but I kinda love my Ugly Owl and hope my neighbor is home in the AM when I leave for church so I can give her hers. She'll love it, I already know.

In summary you have learned 3 things about me in this post.

1. I love Synonyms

2. I love Owls

3. I love Ugly things

PS I got the most amazing pair of shoes tonight that look and feel like slippers but are really shoes, I'll post a picture later. They seriously made my day. They are these except mine are pink and blue tweed where the black and white part is, and I paid less than half of what these are.

Leviticus-How to please the Lord

If you have ever had a conversation with a non believer, you have likely had the "laws" of the Bible thrown right in your face. I'm no expert but I think one of my Pastors said one time there are approximately 690 something Laws in the Bible, if that's so 600 of them have to be in Leviticus.

This chapter would have been easy for me to gloss over, because I believe in a relational God not a religion based God. However that same God that I believe in that I love so much, included these laws in the Bible knowing full well that someday this day would come and I would read them. Ive heard many times over, the Bible is complete neither lacking nor having too much. This chapter is here for a reason. So I said a prayer asking God to lead me through this book and come out on the other side, with, if nothing else, understanding.

As compared to Genesis and Exodus I view this book as more of a "working out the details." I want nothing more in this life that to please God, (and fairly obviously enough people). As a self proclaimed people pleaser, I found comfort in God laying out the things that would please him, and the things that would not please him. It was a but hard for me to get into at first because punishments for disobedience were listed far before the rewards for obedience.

I found it particularly interesting coming across some of the passages that society throws around any time it fits their needs. Actually that has been one of the more interesting parts of this journey for me, coming across versus Ive heard a lot before, but now understanding more of the context. So as I come across verses about sexual immorality and murder, I notice they are in the same chapter, tone and often punishment as gossip, slander, and adultery. God views these all as disobedience of a law, and all are punishable, however some are far less talked about because far more people are guilty of gossip than murder, and heaven forbid any stones be thrown from our proverbial glass houses.

Even though many of the laws of Leviticus are not observed today, there importance has not diminished. Rather than looking at this book as a book of Laws, I'd like to look at it as a book on "How to please the Lord".

I'm missing the pictures lately, I got a new lens yesterday so maybe I'll have time to play with it soon. :) Thoughts or comments always welcome, especially on Biblical stuff, because I'm really excited to learn all I can.

Crazy Love Week 3

"The irony is that while God does not need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time."

That's a pretty powerful statement and one I fully practice not very long ago. However about a year ago and every day sense I really try to live my life showing others how much I desperately WANT God. The topic of this weeks discussion was focused on one part of chapter 3 and honestly it almost felt like the message was straight affirmation for me. The focus was on Loving God because you have a crazy love for him, and not because the rules, or church, or your parents or friends tell you too. This is the life I lead and I constantly find myself having to explain this to others.

This is a VERY common conversation for me.

Friend: Want to go out of town/to Disney/to dinner on Sunday/Tuesday/Wednesday?
Me: Sorry I can't I have church, I don't miss church.
Friend: But its ....DISNEY (or anything else they deem worthy)
Me: No I really don't miss church.
(attempt #2) Friend: But its only Fuse, or Bible Study, or Life group its not like Church church.
Me: No I really don;t miss church.
(attempt #3)Friend: But you just went yesterday.
Me:No I really don;t miss church...

This can go on for a very long time. To me anyplace where I can go, learn about the Word, and gather with people to worship God, even if its not "Church, Church" (Which by the way is the most absurd thing I ever hear) take a priority in my life. There are VERY few things that will make me miss church or Fuse or Life group or Awana.

All this is not to say I am somehow more spiritual than others because I am always at church, quite the opposite. I LOVE God, Like I am mad crazy in love with him, and yes I am a sinner, and likely need church just as much as I want church. But I cannot get enough of God. I don't want to go to Disney when I can go to church, I don't want to have dinner with a friend, or go to a movie, when I can study God's Word. I surly don;t want to work, or do housework, or anything mundane. I work overnights and there are plenty of nights where it would be easier for me to miss Fuse (which goes till almost 10) and get home and get started on work, but in my head, I just know that will be the week that God's message is just for me, because every time I hear a message I know God is intending for me to hear it. I give a lot of my time to my church, or rather they give me the time, because honestly the couple hours I put in in with the kids, or helping in someway don;t compare to what I get out of it. However there are constantly people telling me I do to much, or I need to take me time. I hope I convey to them, that this is "me time." I am never happier than when helping others, and I am so happy giving my entire self away if I have to, if it means more time at "church."

I'm not saying I have this all figured out, not by a LONG shot, but I do know I'll never figure it out by going to an amusement park.

I realize this turned into an entirely different post than I intended. Its sound more like a vent from me, and maybe it is. This isn't even half of the message from Tuesday night, but its honestly the part that spoke the most to me. I'm getting geared up for week 4, Ive heard it is a literal assault on your person, and a fight with the Word, sometimes the Bible is scary, and its hard to read, and you leave it feeling far worse, or more inadequate, than when you found it. So I'm ready for my assault.

Exodus

So as I continue my reading of the Bible in 90 days I embarked upon Exodus (Pun intended because I'm lame). Ill be honest for the first 20 chapters I kept singing in my head. "Let my people go" There are really three parts of Exodus, Moses getting the Israelites out of bondage in Egypt, The journey to Mount Sinai, and the covenant and laws.

I'm going to be 100% honest I just deleted an entire paragraph from this post because I was critiquing the book like it was a book club selection and not the second book, of the LORD'S WORD. Forgive me I lost my mind for a second. With sanity regained, Ill say that even though I thought the parts about the Slavery and Tabernacle were drawn out, maybe just maybe (obviously) I don't know squat and God knew I would need to be told things in a way to actually pay attention. The laws and covenant set out are essentially the RULES FOR LIFE, and who the heck do I think I am to think that every little detail wasn't vastly important. This just goes to show how much I need to learn, how far I have to come, and how supremely insignificant I am.

The thoughts that keep coming back to me now that Ive had a bit of time to mill over the Book, is just how much I can relate to Moses. WAIT A SECOND....Did that crazy girl just say that she, could relate to MOSES? The Man God chose to lead his people? Yes yes I did, I went there, but in all honesty I can relate to the insecurity he expressed over and over. When God chose him he spoke up right away and said, Why me, I'm no good at this pick someone else. Then over and over even after God had shown himself, and used him so powerfully in so many ways, he still expressed to God his lack of ability and his insecurity constantly questioning God, "but what if they don't believe me, what if they won't listen to me?"

God has proven himself to me more times than I will ever be able to count, even though never had to even once. Yet when I ma faced with something I immediately question him. Why he chose a certain path for me? Why this person or that is in or out of my life? Why I can;t have things my way? Why others were chosen before me? If even Moses, could have doubts and insecurities and he spoke to God directly, of course I am going to have doubts and insecurities too, but just like he did for Moses God will provide for me in my best interest always.

The Acacia Tree is mentions a lot in the third part of Exodus, well the wood namely, to be used in the Tabernacle and the Ark. When we were in Africa we saw Acacia trees. This is a picture I took on Safari. Its so huge to think a tree just like this, was used by Moses and the Israelites for such an awesome Honor.

Crazy Love Week 2

Obviously I am a bit behind in recapping this weeks Study on Crazy Love. The week seems to get away from me, or I just want to post pictures and before you know it, here it is Sunday night and I'm typing about last Tuesday.

I could Die before I finish typing this blog.

As morbid as that may sound it is such a reality. Everyday people wake up not knowing it is their last day on Earth. This week in Crazy Love F.C. asks us to REALLY think about that. To honestly question ourselves, and examine if everything we are doing here on Earth is to prepare for eternity. I have a friend and he likes to tell me "he's going to kill me" not in a serious way (at least I hope) but in a sarcastic empty threat, and just to prove he's not getting the better of me, I always respond "Go ahead I know where I'm going." However I rarely actually think about it. I mean I know where I'm going to spend eternity but frankly it scares me a bit to actually think about not being here, anymore. I know what "here" is like, and even though some of it sucks from time to time, at least I know what I am in for. I know that sounds like I don't have faith, or I don't trust in God that heaven will be glorious. Oh contraire! I know heaven is going to be one amazing party, and I know my name's on the guest list, I'm just not sure what to wear, if I need to bring anything, or If all my friends have RSVPed.

Another thing F.C. talks about is his definitions of two words very near and dear to my life. Worry and stress. Ill be honest I am a self confessed worrier, I can get anxious about just about anything. However when you examine these words from Chan's point of view it makes you really question them. Here are his definitions.

“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, or powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives."

"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or out tight grip of control.”

These definitions are all about perspective to me. Yet again, like so many people and studies try to tell us (Purpose driven life anyone) ... Life is not about us. It is all about GOD. The analogy F.C. uses is God is the leading man in the movie of life, and we are an extra in the film not even for half a second and you can barley see the backs of our heads in a crowd shot.

And just because I need pictures, I give you a picture of what I hope heaven looks like. Its kind of weird but for a while now, Ive pictured this place in my head where I talk to God. its always on a bench, and its just a chat like you would have with a great friend. Then the other day while taking pictures I took a couple of this empty bench in a park, it wasn't until I got home and edited them, that I realized it was just the sort of place I am always imagining in my head.

Conjuction Junction.....What's your function?

Spent my Saturday with some pretty awesome Ladies. We got up and went to an event at a local Christian bookstore. They were giving away free CDs and DVDs to the first 50 people to come by, and they had some characters from a DVD series for the girls to meet. It was a pretty cool little event and I love a good freebie, especially music. Then we headed off to Winter Park (Yes I know I have been there WAY to much in the past 7 days but it is just so gorgeous) to get some pictures of Crys and her girls before she leaves me forever. Ok that's a little dramatic, but she is moving so we wanted to get some pics of them and also some with John. I wish I had waited a little later in the day for the lighting to be better but it was still really fun, and learning to work with kids is HARD. When one smiled the other blinked, when one looked away the other looked gorgeous. Here are a couple of pics from the day all taken within like a 100 ft of each other. I LOVE this park.

While we were taking pictures, some performers were acting out and singing the classic songs from School House Rock it was pretty awesome soundtrack to the day. Actually now that I think of it, between the free cds at the bookstore, the live version of School house rock, and coming home and buying Travie's new CD on itunes its been a pretty musical day. Gotta get up early tomorrow because I am teaching 3rd grade Sunday School while a friend is out of town. I love those kiddos, and LOVE their love for the Bible.

Magic

Yesterday was such an awesome day. In the morning it was mostly running around and doing errands for the World Hope Crew who is leaving for Kenya today. A lot of the people on the trip are going for the first time and it makes me think back to last year, and the nerves and excitement I had going to Africa for the first time. So after getting all those things squared away I kinda thought I'd go home and have a low key afternoon. Ha boy was I wrong. Just as I was pulling out of the Church parking lot I got a phone call asking me if I wanted to go to Disney since our passes go on blackout starting next week. So I ran home grabbed my camera and pass and headed out the door.

As we were walking into the Magic Kingdom everyone who was waiting by the boat launch was looking in the sky and pointing. I looked up and this is what I saw...

U+GOD=:)

Seriously I pretty amazing site especially because the aerial writer was in the process so I literally saw it come to fruition.

It was an awesome day and just the right amount of time (about 4 hours) and it was right when lines were short and the day was beginning to cool off.

Tomorrow Land

I have a TON of pictures of the Magic Kingdom and Cinderella's Castle but this one was taken from the people mover while traveling and I just liked the way it was framed.

So we spin

Lena and I rode Buzz Light Year twice (we MAY know a secret on how to get a second ride) ;) and she basically things spinning the cart as fast as you can for the entire ride is far more fun than actually shooting. So we spin.

Just for the summer Disney had brought back the Main Street Electrical parade. Its been many years since Ive seen this and honestly is was SPECTACULAR.

Awesome day, at the Most Magical Place on Earth.

Keep the World Hope-ers and all those on the trip to Kenya in your Prayers. They will be gone for 12 days, and Justin will be documenting the entire thing. Ill try to upload a couple of his blogs. I know hearts will be won and lives changed in the coming days.

Only 10%?

Missing a post yesterday really made me sad, but alas working over nights, AND volunteering during the days, AND having church Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday, will occasionally make this happen. :( hopefully not often. I miss it.

So this is more of a picture post, mainly because I found it so hard to narrow it to 2 or 3 pictures. I am really enjoying these adventure days. Recently Sara bought a D5000 like I have, so we have been taking photo adventures. The other day we went back to Winter Park. We spent a couple hours in Kraft Azelea park, on Park avenue in WP, and at another small park downtown in WP. Basically the theme of the day way PARK :)

Lake Virginia, Winter Park Fl

The trees were bent over the water they made these little protected ponds, within the Lake.

No Swimming!

I don't know if you can see it but the man on this sign is HILARIOUS....and drowning.

The boat launch, which is most ironic based on the next picture.

No Launching... right in front of a boat launch??

Sara's Feet.

A fountain off Park Ave, the colors were awesome.

Basically I took 300 pictures and really only loved about 30 of them... Any real photographers out there know if this is a reasonable percentage? Thoughts? Anyone local know any other places we could check out? Feel free to add me on Facebook, or follow me on twitter @_ashtastic_ for more photos. Gallery soon to come, just need to organize it a bit better.

50 years!

There is somewhat of a living legend in My church. My Pastor's Father is Dr. Al Janney, a pioneer in Christian Education. If you want to read all about him you can go here.However suffice it to say if you went to a Christian school at all, but especially in Florida you owe this man a debt of gratitude. One of the schools modeled after his leadership is Orlando Christian Prep, the school associated with our Church. This Sunday we celebrated the Schools 50th Anniversary, with a cookout, some student vs faculty games, and a lot of outdoor fun.

The Dr. Al Janney Scholarship is established.

Giant Bounce Slide

Two of my Absolute favorite women at Church. Sara and Giselle.

Snow cones!!
Students vs Faculty Volleyball.

After a long day in the very warm son. I got a bit of rest before heading off to meet my lifegroup at Starbucks. We are doing an IN DEPTH study of James (half brother of Jesus :) Some of you will understand why I said that) We covered James 3 which is BY FAR my favorite Biblical message Ive studied so far. Its all about being real, not saying one thing and living another and accepting that God mad us each different and we have to be real with who God made us. I seriously LOVE my Lifegroup, I can;t say it enough these women are the most legit people Ive ever met, and I'm not just saying that because they are likely to read this haha.

All around phenomenal Sunday.